Little girl, get up!

There’s something deep inside that has haemorrhaged for twelve years.

Myself being consumed without my consent.

Consuming me every day,
no one could help me,
I tried a few times to cry out for help,
but it wasn’t the right time.

It was just costly.

Then I saw you and I believed that if I could just touch your hem,
if I could just feel your love then I knew that I could be healed.

And I was.

And it stopped.

And then I stopped.

And now I felt death.

I lay there watching the world go by and you took my hand and all you said to me was “little girl, get up!”

And slowly I did, part by part I began to move and soon I realised I was now more alive than I’d ever been before.

You healed me.
You released me from my prison.
You transformed my heart.
You made me worth something.
You showed me love, proper love, not consumerist love, just pure transcendent unconditional love.

Now:

I pray when I want
I sing when I want
I dance when I want

And it’s all for you,
My Lord and my God.

And I’m so thankful,
I have no adequate words to speak.

All I have is the smile on my face, the sparkle in my eyes and a new heart that you put in me.

With a Holy Kiss you brought me back to life, you raised me from the dead, you breathed your spirit into me.

And I will serve you with every breath in my lungs and every beat in my heart.

You saved me.

Little girl, get up.

Tremble

You say not to be afraid,
yet I tremble at everything,
the world seems a new place,
light and dark,
day and night as one,
it is hard to see the blue sky,
with patches of deepest space,
but then there are the stars,
some shine day and night,
they are not afraid of this new world,
where blue is bluer than ever,
and black is darker than death.

I cradled a coffee in this new world,
everything felt different,
I could have more than one cup,
if I wanted,
I could stay until the chairs were lifted,
if I wanted,
and the floors swept clean,
if I wanted,
or I could leave like I’d never been.

You say not to be afraid,
yet I tremble at everything,
the sounds my house makes at night,
the doorbell,
the floorboards,
and as I wait to listen more,
my heart stands still,
a little too long,
and my bed feels,
a little too long,
and the days,
a little too long.

You say not to be afraid,
yet I tremble with you,
because it is you that spoke,
that breathed,
this new world,
you split the rock,
encased around my heart,
and now it pours out,
freely,
but so new,
so delicate,
like fresh butterfly wings,
and I tremble,
a little too long,
but I can fly,
if I wanted.

You say,
do not be afraid,
and when I look up,
hold me close,
a little too long.
because all I see is you,
and I tremble,
because my life and my heart is anew.

And what of love?

And what of love?

That drives down relentlessly
pounding
like rain on window pane
singing a strong yet delicate symphony
of newness, freshness,
yet builds to overwhelming flow
like waves
which lap the shore
crescendos into more,

water pours from split rock
in the desert places,

and what of love in these spaces?

Clouds broken,
you are my beloved,

words spoken,
you are precious,

hope awoken,
you are beautiful.

And what of love?

Nothing but gift,
rained relentlessly,
bestowed from above.