My Lord, and my God

Today was the feast day of St Thomas, quite fitting really as I was scheduled to be at St Thomas’ church this morning. I hadn’t realised this until I eyed up the red vestments and the lovely icon of St Thomas on the pew sheet. In fact I hadn’t even thought about it when I’d bought a coffee at the petrol station, slurping it between traffic light changes and letting my mind wander. I feel that when my mind is open like that, God had some time to whisper scripture at me that blows around my soul for a while. My mind flashed back to the confirmation practice that I went to last night, I felt so blessed that I’ve been able to see and share in the candidates joy. My mind blew to the phrase “My Lord, and my God”as I thought about the wonderful journey he has blessed me with, I slurped my coffee, parked up and walked into church.

I always feel a little sorry for St Thomas, “doubting Thomas” he is called. St Thomas was not with the rest of the disciples when he heard of Jesus’ resurrection, he was on the outside so to say and wanted physical proof of the resurrected Christ. Jesus in his infinite grace appears to St Thomas and in his gentle way invites him to touch and feel his wounds. Jesus did not scold him, or chastise him for his unbelief he calmly and quietly guided Thomas to the truth. St Thomas, overwhelmed says, “My Lord, and my God”. The realisation of the miracle in front of him, the grace Jesus showed him, is encapsulated in that phrase, and that phrase stays with me every time I feel God’s love, Jesus’s grace, and the warmth of the Holy Spirit.

Whenever I question or doubt my journey, or whenever I cannot see because of the mist I think of St Thomas. For Thomas is like all of us and Jesus waits for us with the same patience and the same grace to press our hands into his wounds, to remind us that he died for us and he rose for us and that he will come again, and through his love and sacrifice we will one day sit and eat with him in his kingdom.

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