Revelation has become a word that I can now use in its literal sense. In the past I would say that I’d had a “revelation” or an “epiphany” if I’d found the answer to something I’d had on my mind for a while.
I remember standing in church on Palm Sunday waving a paper Palm leaf feeling overcome with joy mixed with the feeling that I was very much loved. This revelation of God’s love for me, changed me in many ways. His invitation for me to know him and feel his awesome love was amazing. After that day, I let go of my past mistakes, I left them like a pile of heavy rucksacks at the end of a long journey, lifted up my head, picked up my feet, and quickly trotted behind Jesus down another path. I felt relieved from my burdens, Jesus had set me free, and in doing so made me realise this is the journey, the missing piece of my life I had been searching for.
God has blessed me with further revelations, from showing me where I can serve him, to telling me he is always there when I am feeling lost, to inviting me to his table to share his Holy meal.
I’ve always been captivated by the Eucharist, it is truly a wonderful occasion, I love watching the preparation and the ritual. I love the sound the wafer makes as it breaks, when it happens it is the loudest sound in the church, a reminder of the body of Christ broken for us. I’ve recently had a strong inspiration to assist at the Eucharist a feeling that the Holy Spirit is guiding me there.
I experienced a surreal moment at the rail of our Parish church a few weeks back, when I was waiting to receive the wine. I’d just crossed myself and the chalice slipped in the Vicar’s hand splashing the wine over him, me, and the rail. I wasn’t prepared for the reaction that I had. I felt a feeling of sheer panic as I tried to mop up the wine from the rail, but for moment more than comfortable my eyes told me the spilt wine was blood. It took a little moment for my logical brain to wake up and tell my conscious self to not panic, that it was just wine.
I was scared. It bothered me for days.
Last week I forgot I’d sent an email to my course tutor about the event to help me process my thoughts, he had only just realised that I’d sent it and asked me about it. The words just fell out of my mouth, “It was a revelation.”
Finally I now understood, the revelation of the wine becoming the blood of Jesus was another invitation from God to know him deeper, and perhaps I will do this from assisting at the Eucharist when I am allowed to at my church.